The Importance of Understanding Why

A parent explains with great patience a simple, understandable answer to his/her child's question asked by the simple word, "Why?" After the child receives the explanation he/she responds with another "Why?" The process continues endlessly: the parent explains and the child responds with "Why?" In the process the parents answers become less and less patient as he/she anticipates another "Why?" response. Perhaps that is the reason parents often respond to a "why" from a child with the generic answer, "Because I said so!"

Without a doubt, some children's "why" responses are little more than an evasion tactic. The child intends the "why" to be an effective means of (a) avoiding responsibility, (b) proclaiming personal innocence, (c) frustrating his/her parent, or (d) all three.

Yet, not all "whys" from children involve some evasion tactic. Some "whys" provide a teaching opportunity of incredible value. Wise is the parent that can discern between a "why" that seeks to evade and a "why" to offers a golden opportunity to teach. Teaching a valuable lesson is as fulfilling as dealing with an evasion is frustrating!

Answering "whys" to spiritual practices is extremely important. "Whys" are golden opportunities to convey spiritual values, to reinforce spiritual principles, or to reveal critical spiritual motives that explain acts. Moses, in his way, emphasized this truth in Deuteronomy 6:20-25. It is understanding "why" in spiritual behavior that allows the person to prevent meaningful obedience produced by profound gratitude from becoming meaningless ritual produced from a sense of necessity.

Consider a couple of illustrations. On the third day after Passover, a devout Israelite mother (four or five generations removed from the original Passover) places unleaven bread on her table to be eaten with the family meal. A collective groan arises from the children at the prospect of eating yet another meal with bread containing no yeast. One child works up the courage to ask, "Why do we have to eat this bread with our meal?"

Answering that "why" provided an Israelite parent the opportunity to explain the core reason for Israelites being a free people rather than a slave people. The parent could explain how things used to be when their ancestors were slaves. He/she could explain how quickly their ancestors had to leave Egypt (Exodus 12:34). It could be explaned that it was by eating that bread during that week that an Israelite (a) thanked God for deliverance and (b) remembered that it was only an act of God that permitted them to be free rather than slaves. Read Exodus 13:3-10.

A Jewish boy from a poor family followed his father to watch as Dad assisted their only female donkey give birth to its first colt. The colt was a much needed male donkey. Without a word, the father quickly broke the colt's neck. Immediately, the boy asked, "Why did you do that?" The father had an excellent opporunity to explain that their ancestors left Egypt when all the first born Egyptian males died. It was that occurence initiated by God Himself that caused Pharaoh (the king) to urge the Israelites to leave Egypt at once.

From that moment, all first born males in Israel, whether livestock or people, belonged to God (Exodus 13:11-16). Since they were too poor to redeem the new born donkey with a lamb, it was killed to express thanks to God for the kindness of His deliverance. It was a lesson the boy would remember as long as he lived!

Obedience to God is not a matter of control. It is a matter of gratitude. Spiritual behavior is not some "magic rite of protection." Spiritual behavior is a declaration of commitment to God. However, gratitude and commitment are understood only if the next generation understands motives. When a child asks a serious "why" to a spiritual ocurrence, it is an excellent opportunity to teach values and motives.

Prevent meaningful acts of obedience from degenerating into meaningless acts of ritual without reason. Make certain your children correctly understand "why."